Forced Marriage: Escaping Her Monster

Chapter 35 - Is It Love?

"I am fine..." Jerlina moved aside since getting away from his hand. She thought he\'d be angry for walking out alone and dragging his name creating trouble for his men.

Looking in his eyes that seemed a little tired, she didn\'t find anger no matter how hard she searched.

"Thank you for helping me out there," she decided to probe to see if he was hiding his anger.

"Did they approach you or-"

"No, I thought they were harassing Gina and intervened. Turns out..." she gulped seeing his eyes turning serious. She knew she need not feel guilty for taking a walk, but her heart was pounding.

"You don\'t believe me when I say gangs are trying to kill you, do you?" his voice was stern. She gripped the hem of her shirt and twisted it between her fingers as she got nervous.

Indeed, she didn\'t believe him. She knew it was his scare tactic to keep her in line. In fact, the incident before proved she doesn\'t have a hit on her. Those guys didn\'t even know her. If she walked past them, no one would have cared.

But that doesn\'t mean she wasn\'t in danger. She knew TJ did help her this time. The reason is probably to maintain his pride as a ganglord since she used his name. He won\'t be a notorious ganglord if anyone can touch his woman.

She had the sense that if she got dragged by those goons, anything might have happened. At least TJ never actively hurt her except that time he rammed her with his car.

Maybe all he gives are death blows.

"I don\'t like to be trapped," she started walking. "If what you say is true and you\'re doing this all to protect me, why are you damaging my mental health by locking me in? Let me go. I\'d rather die-"

"Stop saying that you\'d rather die. You don\'t have the choice to make that decision," his voice deepened as he walked beside her.

He was in a pretty good mood after hearing her proudly proclaiming that she is his wife, for the first time. But whenever she says she\'d rather die, it angered him. Maybe if she says that she\'d survive somehow, he might consider letting her go. The other day he stopped her using a despicable move for the same reason too.

She can live well without him if that\'s what she wants, but she cannot die.

Jerlina didn\'t know what to say to him. He arrogantly thinks she has no choice. What should she say to that?

"Why?" she stood in front of him and asked. "You say you want to protect me even when I don\'t want your protection. You keep on announcing everywhere that I am your wife when the fact is that I was forced to sign the certificate...Surely it can\'t be out of the goodness of your heart, right? Tell me the reason, TJ. Why?"

She wanted him to say it. Say that he is doing this for his sister. At least then she could get some sort of closure for everything that went wrong in her life. Because otherwise, she didn\'t know why she is suffering for the past few months.

Jeremy gulped seeing her amber eyes. They were filled with despondence and frustration. All the happiness he had when he heard her say that she is his wife went away. He knew she said it to escape from those thugs. He knew she is a hustler and she\'d use any means to keep herself safe, and that\'s how she got away from that town before.

Maybe deep in his heart, he knew she doesn\'t need him to be safe. She won\'t give up on her life that easily. And even if he wants to protect her, he doesn\'t have to keep her with him as his wife. There are a lot of ways he has to protect other than keeping her right in the sight of the people who are trying to kill her.

No... she is not the same as before. She has lost the will to live. If I let her go, she will die. And, this is the best strategy to keep her safe. Even if I send her somewhere else to be safe, there will be others looking for her. At least here, I can protect her well as this is my turf.

This has nothing to do with my deep love for her. It is not.

"Is the reason important?" he asked, his voice trembled slightly and.

"It is! I lost a lot because of you Harrisons and I still am a prisoner. Shouldn\'t I know for what crime I am getting punished for? Say it! Is it because I am the villain in Emma\'s story? Either you are lying or you\'re doing this for your sister. What other reason could there be?"

She wanted to ask him this for ages and so she did. She wanted him to answer her.

"I already asked you to not bring up Emma in our conversations," Jeremy\'s voice got deeper and he clenched his jaws.

He didn\'t like it when she brings up his sister in their conversations. Because then he will remember that his sister married the man his wife loved. And it is something that hacked his heart.

He didn\'t want to continue the conversation and tried to walk past her.

"Right. I am sorry. If that\'s not the reason, then why else?" Jerlina blocked his way.

She saw his eyes getting red and she knew she had provoked him a lot. But still, she didn\'t want to back off. Maybe the fact that she is in a public place gave her courage, she forgot that no place is safe for her if Jeremy actually wanted to hurt her.

"Do you love me, TJ?"

That thought suddenly popped in her brain. She has read about some stalkers and psychopaths developing some sort of twisted attraction towards someone that they misconstrue as love.

Did I fall prey to one of such delusions of this notorious monster?

The past and now, the way he relentlessly stalked and brought trouble to her... Could this be the same?

Jeremy felt like he got punched in his solar plexus when she asked that. He couldn\'t understand how she figured it out. He wanted her to know she loved her, but this point-blank questioning made him stunned.

Jerlina saw him taking a couple of steps back and he covered his mouth with his hand. She thought he was holding his laughter. She knew it is a long strtch for someone to fall for her, bordering on obsession. She is as plain comes.

But she wanted to clear it off. She wanted to understand his obsession with her.

If not for Emma, it should be for him, right? Surely, he is not the messiah to care for the life of a random person, right? If these two are not the reasons, what other reason might there be, to connect us two?

"Everything you did...stalking, kidnapping and even killing my baby... I can understand if it is some twisted way you showed your love to me, TJ. Be frank," she tried to hold his hand.