Life, Once Again!

“You didn’t know? I thought you knew already.”

“I only watched the drama. Just the dying scene too. I didn’t know what he was doing in other places,” saying that, he gave the assistant director back his phone.

The 10 minutes or so of the documentary he just watched left a deep impression inside his head. The content was one thing, but the voice that narrated all of it was splendid. It was heavy and sturdy but was not frustrating either.

He also liked the fact that the narrator raised the pitch at the necessary times to refresh the atmosphere. If he did not know the identity of the narrator, he would’ve thought that it was a veteran voice actor who had a young voice.

“It was all the rage once in internet communities. Young people who like to edit stuff like this took this actor’s voice and put it in other clips too. Some people even said they could sleep well if they listen to this voice and listened to them all night.”

“People do all sorts of stuff, huh.”

Hwanggeun smiled as he looked at the various videos on the internet that the assistant director showed him. The younger generation these days was somewhat incomprehensible to him.

“It’s an era where all sorts of things are possible. Shall we start now?” said the assistant director, looking at his watch.

Hwanggeun drank some water and nodded.

The assistant director stood up and left through the door.

Hwanggeun looked at the faces of the actors waiting in the waiting room outside. They all had good eyes. There wasn’t anyone who looked out of character for the role.

The first actor came in along with the assistant director.

“Hello, director.”

“Hi, it’s been a while.”

As this was a closed audition, some of the participants were people he knew.

“Shall I start immediately?”

“You can begin when you’re ready.”

Since he was an actor whose skills had been proven already, Hwanggeun had to look at the atmosphere or the vibe. How good would this actor be in the shoes of Gomchi? He appreciated the act of the first participant while fidgeting with his pen.

“Hey, fuck. Gosh, please! Hey, hey. Get yourself together. Don’t bullshit me.”

The actor despaired while holding onto a person who was hit by a car. Panic and unease continuously flashed on his face. His act was good, with no disparity between his actions and expressions.

The actor, who kept looking down at the corpse with shaking eyes, turned around.

“Good. You’re good at acting after all.”

It was smooth without any glaring flaws. It was a slight disappointment that the speed at which he got out of the emotions was too fast, but he could understand since this was an audition. For the details, he could just set them straight during the audition. Right now, checking the vibe was the most important.

The actor skilfully did the next act without making a mistake either. He expressed well the changes that Gomchi went through as he became more and more numb to the pains of others and his own sense of guilt. Hwanggeun thought he would’ve done even better if he had more time to practice.

“Good work. You’re much better than the last time I saw you. At this rate, you might become an actor I won’t be able to use.”

“I’d love to be able to work with you, director. Call me any time.”

Hwanggeun smiled and told him that they should meet next time. The actor left alongside the assistant director.

The start was good. If all the actors outside were on this level, he would have a happy time worrying about who to use.

For now, he put ‘No. 1’ on the A4 paper in front of him and wrote down his impressions. Instead of writing general assessments, he wrote about what impressions he received from moment to moment. As for the general assessment, he could do it while looking at the recorded footage later.

The second participant came in. They weren’t acquainted, but he had seen this actor a few times. This fellow was pretty good as well. Hwanggeun greeted him.

“Can I start from the third scene?”

“As you wish. Looks like you prepared something, huh?”

The second actor started acting with a confident expression.

The more you do it, the more proficient you get, and indeed, as this person had played a mafia role in another movie before, his acting was quite good. He showed Gomchi numb to violence first and then rewind time to show him with an intense sense of guilt. Hwanggeun liked that as well.

It was the same character, but since there was a drastic change in the character’s mindset, he needed an actor who could make them look distinct.

He waved his hand at the actor who recited the lines, flustered at not knowing what to do. Based on impressions alone, the second was better than the first.

“Thank you. That was enjoyable.”

“I’ll expect good news.”

“Don’t give me pressure like that. You’ll make me a bad guy if I don’t contact you.”

The second actor left as well. When the third actor came in, he felt that he was no good the moment he came in. First of all, he was frozen stiff. Although there were many actors who could change at the flip of a switch when the camera started rolling, actors who froze in an audition mostly froze stiff in front of a camera as well.

And just as he had expected, when he set up the stage for him, the man kept making mistakes like he had just started learning to act. His lines were murmurs at best and his acting was terrible.

“Stop. Practice some more and come again next time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you saying that to me? You should feel sorry for yourself. Practice like your life depends on it and then reach out to me once you practice to the point you can accept yourself. I’ll have a look at you personally. Okay?”

“Yes.” The actor left.

The director told the assistant director that they should take a break. After going to the bathroom, he bought a cup of coffee.

On the way back, he ran into the actors waiting. The actors who knew him greeted him, and even the actors he didn’t know greeted him after noticing who he was.

“Please don’t be nervous. If you’re going to feel nervous after you go inside, then just go home. It’s not like you’ve sinned. You’re here to show what you’ve practiced. If you’re nervous about that, it just means you haven’t practiced enough.”

He returned to the room after saying that.

“You could have put it nicely, but you always speak like that,” said the assistant director.

“What, you don’t like that?”

“People like me, who have a lot of experience with you, would understand that you’re worried about them and that you’re cheering for them… but what would other people think when they hear that for the first time?”

“If they’re going to feel upset from just that, then it’s better that they don’t work with me. I’ll be like this throughout the entire shoot.”

“That’s why you should try fixing your tone.”

“Shut up and have the next person come in. We should go through as many as possible while I’m still sane.”

The assistant director emptied his coffee in one go and left the room.

Hwanggeun scratched between his eyebrows. The assistant director was right. He could change his tone slightly to sound nicer, but he couldn’t fix that. Whether it was because of his petty pride or his embarrassment, even he did not know.

It was also rather funny that he was worried about something like this when he was way past forty years old.

The audition continued. Other than a few insufficient actors, most of them showed acting skills above his expectations. It was a pity that he could only pick one of them.

“Everyone’s good. It feels like they’ve analyzed a lot.”

“Who do you think is the best?”

“I like the second actor. Mr. Ha Gyungsoo, I think he was? Along with him, the thirteenth person, actor Yoo Mansung, gave me the deepest impression. How about you, director?”

“I’m the same. How many are there left?”

“Three of them. Shall I bring the next person?”

“Yeah. Let’s go have dinner after we see the rest of them.”

The sixteenth actor came into the room. Hwanggeun first scanned the profile and looked in front of him. Maru, wearing a beanie, was in front of him.

Perhaps because of the beanie that nearly covered his eyebrows, he gave off a different appearance. He looked a lot sharper compared to when they met in the Japanese restaurant.

“Do you think you can do it?”

He didn’t expect a lot from Maru. If he was an actor that he really wanted to see, he would’ve invited Maru before the meal and formally introduced himself.

Maru was someone he just wanted to look at once, someone he just wanted to check the vibes of. That was the level of interest he had in this man.

He only had some curiosity because of the death in the drama that left a deep impression on him, and he didn’t actually consider him to be an actor suitable for Gomchi.

The reason he told Maru the audition schedule was because of what he said.

I can only say after looking at the scenario. — He rather liked the way he spoke, not being too humble, and saying what was right.

“I’ll do it. I have taken a liking to this character.”

“Go on then.”

Maru took off his beanie. The short hairstyle entered Hwanggeun’s eyes. Although it wasn’t so short that it was a buzz cut, the side bangs that had been cut short gave him a totally different impression.

“You cut your hair?”

“You said I would look better that way. And I think so too.”

“I never promised you this role. You did that all by yourself.”

“It’s okay. I am going to take this role.”

“You sound confident.”

Maru didn’t respond and shook his body lightly. He probably meant that he would show it through his act instead of his words.

Was this the arrogance of a rookie? Or plausible confidence?

There were many actors who were perfect in just one scene. The scene that Hwanggeun checked was the one where Maru died. Just that single one. That one scene was so perfect that he could send praises, but that wasn’t enough for him to discern the level of an actor.

Well then, would the young actor in front of him show more than just that?

Maru acted out the first scene. The important thing in this scene was the display of inner conflict. Maru, who looked down at the person hit by a car, closed his eyes and opened them again. All sorts of emotions flashed through his eyes.

“Hey, fuck. Gosh!”

Maru looked at a loss like he just found out his house was being washed away in a flood. He also delicately displayed the onslaught of disgust and sadness on top of the despair at the sudden misfortune that arrived.

The flustered act was passable for now.

A sense of chill fluctuated in his eyes as he looked at the corpse. He clenched the hands that he was using to probe around the corpse and started looking around like a predatory animal on a hunt. The desire for survival overwrote the sense of guilt of having killed a man. He wiped his hands that he had been rubbing.

While the way he gasped like he had been diving underwater was still there, the way he looked around the corpse and the surroundings became quicker and quicker.

“Don’t bullshit me. It cannot end like this. It must not end like this.”

His words were ruthlessly shaky. It wasn’t a voice that was squeezed out and was displeasing to listen to. It was an extremely natural tremble that anyone would sympathize with.

The words that were placed on top of his violent breathing entered Hwanggeun’s ears without getting squashed. Maru didn’t make the mistake of being swept by the torrent of emotions and losing the focus of his act. He looked just as good, if not slightly better, than the actors that preceded him.

However, Hwanggeun couldn’t make the decision already. He had to see the other scenes as well. The process of Gomchi letting go of his human morals and becoming a money-starved ghost was important.

He would be able to tell whether Maru understood that point or not after seeing Maru’s act of Gomchi changing with time.

“I’ll do the next act.”

“Go on.”

Hwanggeun raised his pen. The first scene was done splendidly, but if Maru did the second scene in the same nuance, then it would all be for naught. There had to be clear changes like taking a nosedive after flying in the air for a long time or coming up to the surface from the deep seas.

No, rather than changes, it was closer to a transformation. That was Gomchi’s character. Someone who moved further and further away from being human.

Just before Maru’s second act began, he suddenly realized. He had forgotten this because Maru had shown such a well-prepared act.

Two days. Maru only had two days to prepare for this.

His consciousness suddenly flashed like someone poured cold water on him.

This was what he prepared over the span of two days?

Maru pressed on his beanie again and looked forward. The moment he saw those eyes, Hwanggeun realized that the character had changed. It was the change in impression caused by the delicate movement of facial muscles. It was an acting technique practically unseen from actors in their early 20s.

“How much will I get for this one?”

The moment he heard that line, Hwanggeun put down his pen. There was no need to write down any impressions. The one in front of him was Gomchi.